I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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