i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
