i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
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