They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
