Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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