did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
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