Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
