i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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