you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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