Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
