are you still at the devil's house?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
