So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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