Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
