Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
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Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
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I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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