We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize