So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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