Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Say something about gay babies.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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