life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
