with your own penis?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
