Pregnant stripper...not hot.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
So squirting runs in the family.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
