remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
