well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
