Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
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