i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
