I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
