If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
