i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
