no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Randomize
