How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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