i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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