Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
