I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
either way he was missing a nipple.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
