My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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