Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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