The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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