I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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