as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
