She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"