is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
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maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
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Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.