So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.