it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
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Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
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Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b