Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
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