You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
