Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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