Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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