i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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