i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I'm so fucking centered right now
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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