he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
