you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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