Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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