We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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