Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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