I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
