hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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