Don't you send me to vm
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
My vagina is very pro this idea
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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