I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize