Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
