she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
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Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
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I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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