They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
